Decayed

At the age of 23, I realized I'm slowly decaying. My life, my relationships, my looks and my mind.

First, my life.
It's dull, not much socials.
I hate going out for the sake of being social, or friendly.
I really like to spend my time with my laptop and drawing tablet.
I get to create good arts during the weekends.
But this will lead to people thinking of me as anti-social.
It could be, it really depends on you on my priority list.

Second, my relationships.
Bad experiences took a toll on me.
I don't really make deep connections with anyone since then.
Friendships & love, I had detached myself from them.
I keep it on me. Not even had deep relationship with my colleagues.
The newcomer is better than I am on being exceptionally friendly and approachable.

Third, my looks.
Ageing is unpreventable.
But not saving the ageing process is one of the guilt of mine.
Face filled with pimples, scars, huge pores and oily dry skin.
Body get bigger each day especially the thigh and tummy area.
Front teeth started to darken and slowly rotting away.
Watching my finances by skipping regular facial therapy, gym session and dental visit took a toll on my appearances.

Fourth, my mind.
This was not known by anyone other than me.
I've suffered Trichotillomania.
This disorder had laid dormant since primary 4, and it's coming back, hard.
Bald spots everywhere.
And I can't stop, I'm addicted.
Could it be the stress from work?

Start of May, I need to change all of the above.
I really need to stop myself from further decaying.
Life could be better if I made efforts, right?